MasturbatingJesus
2005-07-13, 00:36
i've decided to start a new fashion trend. actually it's a sort of dress code, which religions provide to people along with guidance about what foods they should eat and what kind of personal hygiene they should have. a religion is a way of life and people who follow a set of guidelines or the latest fashion trend in their daily rituals and habits are in effect following a religion. it is my goal to create a religion which liberates people and makes them comfortable with themselves, as well as bring out their best traits. or perhaps i will have to settle for being just another crazed cult leader.
so i've decided that as a fashion trend setter myself, that i will no longer zip up the fly of my pants anymore. it may sound ridiculous to you but that is to be expected, as just about all fashion trends are ridiculous from a practical perspective. for example, what is fashionable now is the wearing of a baseball hat backwards, shoelaces untied, bellbottom pants that are so long that they frequently touch the filth of the streets, clothes that are way too big, suspenders undone on one side, men asymetrically wearing only one earing on the left ear, or the wearing of a backpack on only one shoulder. all of this defies good sense and is what you would expect if a retard were to dress himself. the key to understanding fashion is to understand that those who are the fashion trend setters, are beautiful people themselves. so if a beautiful person does something ridiculous then it will have good chances of becoming fashionable. keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that in order to exude beauty to others, one must amongst other things be self-confident and likable.
i know that i need to give credit where it is due by having the self-confidence to think of myself as capable of being a fashion trend setter, with proper recognition given to my own beauty.
those who find the sight of an unzipped fly on pants to be shocking are simply not appreciating the larger picture. from a practical perspective, having one's fly open is a good idea because that requires less effort to perform the mundane tasks of life such as taking a piss. furthermore there is the benefit of having good ventilation provided to one's genitals, and easier access to them as well. so since there are so many practical reasons for leaving one's fly in the unzipped position, i wonder why it has not become the norm and adopted by upstanding citizens who are pillars of their communities.
here is how the the unzipped fly fashion statement shall be implemented. if one is married then one shall zip one's fly while in the presence of the wife. but when one is a free man, which means when the wife is not around, then one shall forget to zip one's fly up, which of course can be interpreted ambiguously as either being accidental or as quite purposeful in advertising that one is available for casual sex or nothing more than harmless groping and tongue kissing. you should find that if your fly is unzipped women will pay more attention to your genital area in public, which is always a good thing. they will either tell you directly that your fly is unzipped, or they will remain mute while the subject of your genitals crosses their minds. either way you've either got yourself a great conversation piece, or they will be thinking about exactly what you want them to be thinking about. i recommend that you perform subtle thrusting motions when you catch them eyeing your crotch just to drive the point home for them. you see, women work by way of subtleties, so this subtle fashion statement is just what you need to capture their attention. the way to get away with the subtle thrusting without feeling perverted, is to thrust to the beat of a song. if you thrust randomly, then you are a pervert but if you are dancing to a tune then you are just like the majority of the populace, and you have a sense of rhythm. understanding the difference between the two is the key to mastering the subtleties.
while it may seem disingenuous to pretend to be musical while really being a perverted thruster, let me just say that there really is no difference between an extroverted pervert in public thrusting one's groin in a sexual fashion, or dancing in public. this is because music by its nature is sexual, especially when it has a discernible beat and rhythm. when one dances to music one is giving a demonstration of one's own sexual prowess. the musicians who have no shame in performing their music for the public also have no shame in performing sexually for the public, as the very beats of their thrusting cause a type of social sexual resonance that others follow.
and so i have said about all that i need to say in regards to the next fashion statement which i shall be, god willing, the origin of. some day ye shall know that it is yours truly who hath given people the gift of freedom by removing another barrier of the genitals.
i think the genitals are locked in bondage and must be free in order for us as a collective society to be free. the great misperception hath been that men are free and it is women who are enslaved, but i see in males too a bondage in regards even to sex. you see, if men were really free then they wouldn't have to pay for sex. the majority of prostitutes are women and this attests to how how much progress is needed, in order for men to be liberated. it is a big lie that men are free, and this lie has been promoted by the apollonians who want to keep men unhappy and miserable. the sexual freedoms which men have been granted as acceptable by society are nothing more than gilded cages and are a facade.
i say that men must also develop a higher regard for sex than they have, and stop thinking of it as dirty. the religion and way of life that i offer to you can work towards this. hereby i declare that the common practice of washing one's hands after urinating must be changed. one must now instead wash one's hands before urinating. this is because the penis is a clean part of the body, and one must wash one's hands before handling it. also i prohibit any reference to sex with negative connotations. terms like "sucks", "slut", and "fucked" are literally misleading and only to be used with caution or preferably avoided altogether, because those are good things and should not be associated with bad things.
at times i think of myself as a deity because i have what it takes to set people upon the path of righteousness and bring about the revaluation of all values, in which people are liberated. yet what i have done is not out of the grasp of ye mortals, but simply one guided by my wisdom. i hope that you all find inspiration from my divinity, not necessarily because you can do what i've done yourselves, but rather that amongst the lot of us humans we can find the divine.
so i've decided that as a fashion trend setter myself, that i will no longer zip up the fly of my pants anymore. it may sound ridiculous to you but that is to be expected, as just about all fashion trends are ridiculous from a practical perspective. for example, what is fashionable now is the wearing of a baseball hat backwards, shoelaces untied, bellbottom pants that are so long that they frequently touch the filth of the streets, clothes that are way too big, suspenders undone on one side, men asymetrically wearing only one earing on the left ear, or the wearing of a backpack on only one shoulder. all of this defies good sense and is what you would expect if a retard were to dress himself. the key to understanding fashion is to understand that those who are the fashion trend setters, are beautiful people themselves. so if a beautiful person does something ridiculous then it will have good chances of becoming fashionable. keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that in order to exude beauty to others, one must amongst other things be self-confident and likable.
i know that i need to give credit where it is due by having the self-confidence to think of myself as capable of being a fashion trend setter, with proper recognition given to my own beauty.
those who find the sight of an unzipped fly on pants to be shocking are simply not appreciating the larger picture. from a practical perspective, having one's fly open is a good idea because that requires less effort to perform the mundane tasks of life such as taking a piss. furthermore there is the benefit of having good ventilation provided to one's genitals, and easier access to them as well. so since there are so many practical reasons for leaving one's fly in the unzipped position, i wonder why it has not become the norm and adopted by upstanding citizens who are pillars of their communities.
here is how the the unzipped fly fashion statement shall be implemented. if one is married then one shall zip one's fly while in the presence of the wife. but when one is a free man, which means when the wife is not around, then one shall forget to zip one's fly up, which of course can be interpreted ambiguously as either being accidental or as quite purposeful in advertising that one is available for casual sex or nothing more than harmless groping and tongue kissing. you should find that if your fly is unzipped women will pay more attention to your genital area in public, which is always a good thing. they will either tell you directly that your fly is unzipped, or they will remain mute while the subject of your genitals crosses their minds. either way you've either got yourself a great conversation piece, or they will be thinking about exactly what you want them to be thinking about. i recommend that you perform subtle thrusting motions when you catch them eyeing your crotch just to drive the point home for them. you see, women work by way of subtleties, so this subtle fashion statement is just what you need to capture their attention. the way to get away with the subtle thrusting without feeling perverted, is to thrust to the beat of a song. if you thrust randomly, then you are a pervert but if you are dancing to a tune then you are just like the majority of the populace, and you have a sense of rhythm. understanding the difference between the two is the key to mastering the subtleties.
while it may seem disingenuous to pretend to be musical while really being a perverted thruster, let me just say that there really is no difference between an extroverted pervert in public thrusting one's groin in a sexual fashion, or dancing in public. this is because music by its nature is sexual, especially when it has a discernible beat and rhythm. when one dances to music one is giving a demonstration of one's own sexual prowess. the musicians who have no shame in performing their music for the public also have no shame in performing sexually for the public, as the very beats of their thrusting cause a type of social sexual resonance that others follow.
and so i have said about all that i need to say in regards to the next fashion statement which i shall be, god willing, the origin of. some day ye shall know that it is yours truly who hath given people the gift of freedom by removing another barrier of the genitals.
i think the genitals are locked in bondage and must be free in order for us as a collective society to be free. the great misperception hath been that men are free and it is women who are enslaved, but i see in males too a bondage in regards even to sex. you see, if men were really free then they wouldn't have to pay for sex. the majority of prostitutes are women and this attests to how how much progress is needed, in order for men to be liberated. it is a big lie that men are free, and this lie has been promoted by the apollonians who want to keep men unhappy and miserable. the sexual freedoms which men have been granted as acceptable by society are nothing more than gilded cages and are a facade.
i say that men must also develop a higher regard for sex than they have, and stop thinking of it as dirty. the religion and way of life that i offer to you can work towards this. hereby i declare that the common practice of washing one's hands after urinating must be changed. one must now instead wash one's hands before urinating. this is because the penis is a clean part of the body, and one must wash one's hands before handling it. also i prohibit any reference to sex with negative connotations. terms like "sucks", "slut", and "fucked" are literally misleading and only to be used with caution or preferably avoided altogether, because those are good things and should not be associated with bad things.
at times i think of myself as a deity because i have what it takes to set people upon the path of righteousness and bring about the revaluation of all values, in which people are liberated. yet what i have done is not out of the grasp of ye mortals, but simply one guided by my wisdom. i hope that you all find inspiration from my divinity, not necessarily because you can do what i've done yourselves, but rather that amongst the lot of us humans we can find the divine.