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tim
2004-04-20, 04:03
________________________________
move along nothing to see here folks!

slx
2004-04-20, 05:10
lol....dude...according to your "up & down" symptoms, most of, if not, the entire world is manic depressive

i don't buy it dude

eclectica
2004-04-20, 09:49
given the three options..welfare, medicaid, unemployment which of them should I chose? and yes I know that "work" is probably best..but until I am physically able..realistically I need to lose 50pds before I would feel myself able to work in any type of physical environment involing movement and muscle. or should I try all three? which is best for me?
What comes to mind are the words inscribed on the gates of some (http://www.rudyfoto.com/hol/arbeit.html) Nazi concentration camps: "arbeit macht frei", which translated means "work brings freedom" or "work sets you free".

Dollar_Girl
2004-04-20, 13:51
A.Lincoln and Mozart were bipolar.

napho
2004-04-20, 14:49
I'm choosing to live right now because of YOUR SUPPORT..all of your support..particuliar the ones i mentioned earlier:

1)eclectica
2)registered
3)slx

and now a fourth person has been added to the list of people who have helped me want to live again..and that is you

4)Dollar_Girl

thank-you for rescuing me as well.


-Tim



Damn them! Damn them I say.

eclectica
2004-04-22, 19:23
There is a possibility in the beginning once you start taking it that you will feel worse off than before.
FDA advisory (http://www.fda.gov/cder/drug/antidepressants/AntidepressanstPHA.htm)

Which is your goal in life:
1. happy
2. normal
3. accept yourself for who you are

For me it's choice #3.

nicobie
2004-04-23, 00:48
lol....dude...according to your "up & down" symptoms, most of, if not, the entire world is manic depressive

i don't buy it dude

me 'neather...

tim's just a sick troll who plays off of others feelings.

a total yuc

eclectica
2004-05-07, 03:56
I'm taking a 10mg tablet of Lexapro once a day and also a 5mg tablet of zyprexa at bedtime as it makes me sleepy.
I start off almost every day with three or four Vivarin caffeine pills, which is like 600 mg of caffeine or the equivalent of six cups of coffee.
:caffeine:

I sleep well at the end of the day because of the withdrawal.
:coffee:

I don't think there are any adverse affects on my psychological state though.
:bomb: :axeman: :soapbox:

Criminal_Sniper
2004-05-07, 06:09
E the thing about caffeen is its addictive
like coke in coca cola i think its so people need to buy it
the effects are positive alertness maybe a little jitteryness (is that a word?)
withdrawal?
sleep is great
better to sleep now than be tired later

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-07, 10:15
a liver can only process 2 shots of coffee per day... so think either, 2 lates, 2 short blacks, 2 cappucinos etc, or ONE flat white... errr... or in your case, 1 caffine pill lol.

nicobie
2004-05-10, 01:25
Ain't this dillweed the total prick?

Just posting a reply makes me want to go wash my hands.




Has anybody gotten the idea that I don't like snail snot? If u happen to step on it barefoot, it will creep 'tween your toes every fuc'n time.

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 00:12
dude, i'm not jealous of free money. I received government help for about 6 months during a time of study and no work. It was financial help for students.

I don't hate ppl that dont work, i just dislike victimising excuses people make for themselves when they CAN work. I have seen people with missing limbs at work, people carrying an extra 100 kilos at work, even my severely mentally handicapped friend goes to work, despite him being in his twenties and having a mental capacity of a 6 year old. I think u just like to over-protect yourself through over analysis of yourself and hence poor excuses such as "i'm fat". Jesus christ, so is a massive percentage of the american population.

Ppl with cancer go to work, ppl with diabetes go to work, ppl with heart problems go to work, ppl with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high anxiety, stress, anger, fear, ALL GO TO WORK.

nicobie
2004-05-17, 01:13
dude, i'm not jealous of free money. I received government help for about 6 months during a time of study and no work. It was financial help for students.

I don't hate ppl that dont work, i just dislike victimising excuses people make for themselves when they CAN work. I have seen people with missing limbs at work, people carrying an extra 100 kilos at work, even my severely mentally handicapped friend goes to work, despite him being in his twenties and having a mental capacity of a 6 year old. I think u just like to over-protect yourself through over analysis of yourself and hence poor excuses such as "i'm fat". Jesus christ, so is a massive percentage of the american population.

Ppl with cancer go to work, ppl with diabetes go to work, ppl with heart problems go to work, ppl with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high anxiety, stress, anger, fear, ALL GO TO WORK.

I'm glad u said it $.

What did peeps do in the old days?

dead_man
2004-05-17, 01:30
dude, i'm not jealous of free money. I received government help for about 6 months during a time of study and no work. It was financial help for students.

I don't hate ppl that dont work, i just dislike victimising excuses people make for themselves when they CAN work. I have seen people with missing limbs at work, people carrying an extra 100 kilos at work, even my severely mentally handicapped friend goes to work, despite him being in his twenties and having a mental capacity of a 6 year old. I think u just like to over-protect yourself through over analysis of yourself and hence poor excuses such as "i'm fat". Jesus christ, so is a massive percentage of the american population.

Ppl with cancer go to work, ppl with diabetes go to work, ppl with heart problems go to work, ppl with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high anxiety, stress, anger, fear, ALL GO TO WORK.


hmmm... i think u do project ur moral outlook ie. work ethic onto people. I have struggled with my conscience for quite some time regarding this... i believe my vocation in life is to make music... and much of the time that way of life is the opposite of a standard work ethic... i have had family and friends all project their moral outlook onto my way of life and tried their best to make me feel like shit because of it... you included... in fact in a different thread somewhere u quite happily looked down ur nose on the fact that i received a government cheque... this can only be because you felt that due to being able bodied i should work... perhaps u are a reincarnation of someone who made van gogh want to cut his ear off and eventually shoot himself in the head... and a few years later he is hailed as a genius hehehhe...

In the end there is no point in someone like me trying to explain WHY a normal 9-5 job crushes my soul into a fine powder... it just does... from time to time (as is currently the case) I do have a normal job... and I make very little in the way of music... which is ok for a period, but then it makes me very miserable... which creates an unpleasant situation for me... because i care about you, and what you think... and what you would apparently believe is that i should do the job and be miserable... which is hard for me to understand... but then you would suggest medication + job... which is tantamount to selling my soul for a comfy chair, a DVD and a bag of popcorn... which would be ok if i liked those things... but i don't... they are meaningless to me.

So... does this in fact mean that u and i should not be socially aquainted? that we should not know each other? because i can't see any reason why i would want to know someone who judges me on a moral level as a layabout... even if i work 18 hours a day trying my best to create the tunes i have in my head... eventually (it appears) it would still come down to the fact that unless i get paid for doing it I am in fact workshy... something to be sneered at... judged as something socially unacceptable.

Now I do not mean to put words in your mouth... I do not know if the reasons i have for not wishing to spend my entire life being exploited by a better capitalist than me doing something i hate are any more valid than anyone else's... perhaps i misunderstand your viewpoint... i mean, it isn't as if anyone is telling u that ur a bad person because you work... i would find it quite unattractive if someone who is judgement free in that regard were to judge another by those standards...

the people who make this life truly wonderful are often the dreamers... those who sit on their arses and think... is it the case that philosophers, musicians, poets, artists and the like should be ostracised for not being a standard worker in this hive of capitalism? Perhaps these people should only be allowed to do it if they are 'vogue' during their lifetimes... so we can kiss goodbye to at least half of all the works of philosophy, art and music... for they were deemed folly by their peers...

like i say, i do not mean to put words in your mouth... that is the last thing i would want u to think... i am just me... i am in the middle of an identity crisis simply because my family and certain others who i would like to call 'friend' cannot accept me for the way that i am... which hurts, because all i try to bring to their lives is who i am... i may be different but that doesn't mean i am something lesser.

And as i said... this is not an excuse for not 'going to work'... even when i am unemployed i 'work', and a good deal longer than 8 hours a day... so at what point does it simply become the age old "i pay taxes for u to sit on ur arse all day"... which is nothing more than ignorance really.

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 01:49
geez, i think majority of ppl dont like working a 9-5 job. You think i like doing 13 hour shifts at work and getting home at 2am in the morning by train? I hate it dude, and i have other things i'd like to be doing. I hate working 12.5 hours on my feet because it HURTS, when i lay in bed and can't sleep because my legs are tingling and the soles of my feet are swollen.
A mother with kids goes to work to earn a living, even though her children are the most important thing to her int he world. Mothers struggle to stay home with their children even when their kids are sick.
Yeah i do think it is kinda shite that other ppl manage at least part time work or casual work, they manage to pay their rent AND still do what they love to do, wether it is take their kids to the park or spend time making their music. I didn't mention u had to work everyday, all day, and i didnt mention that i look down on u in anyway, but my opinion is, if u dont work for years and have a state paying u a cheque coz u want to be a muso, then fuck, waht gives? i'm sure heaps of us want to be something else rather than a janitor... or a hotel cleaner... or a waitress... some people do what they love during the day, and then go do cleaning work a few nights a week... point is, people manage to be waht they awnt to be AND to sacrafice enough to earn a few bucks to pay the rent. I didn't say one works just for a comfy chair and popcorn or whatever, but u mentioned that u get most of your rent paid too, when working a lousy 20 hours a week could do that for u.

life isn't always what u want it to be, but even the GREATEST minds scrubbed toilets and worked behind a burger counter before they hit it big... and they still made it, and we still know of them and they still made their impact.

therei s no rule that says u have to not work ever, in order to full-ful your dream, or in order to stay true to yourself.

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 02:05
and to top it off dude, after working such long hours, 25% of EVERYTHING i make gets paid as tax. While i dont dispute paying taxes, but fuck me, it's a kick in the ovaries seeing 1/4 of what i make just beined minused from my cheque.

its shit u know, everything being mroe expensive, but paychecks staying the same... over here petrol for the car costs over a dollar per litre... which is like a quarter gallon, everyweek something goes up in price, even a newspaper now costs nearly 2 dollars, meanwhile taxes go up, pay rates don't, and we're all going to hell eitherway.

dead_man
2004-05-17, 02:54
"Yeah i do think it is kinda shite that other ppl manage at least part time work or casual work, they manage to pay their rent AND still do what they love to do"


who said anything about doing it because i loved it? i do it because i HAVE to... it isn't your fault u don't understand... it just comes down to a moral judgement... because you feel that is your RIGHT... when in fact it most certainly is not.

You work x hours a week, so therefore it is your right to say stuff like "i work damn hard blah blah... judge judge"... boring...


all i have to say to u is House Of The Rising Sun... the guy (or gal) who wrote that is unknown... they made nothing more than a few beans from it... maybe they did clean toilets... maybe they were a criminal... maybe they lived off charity... but if they did would u begrudge them that? yes you probably would :p

it is such a small attitude... so u hate ur work? well stop doing it then... doing it seems like utter stupidity if u hate it, and ur not a moron... find something else to do instead... just sitting there moaning about tax and how hard u work is pathetic... all ur doing is passing on the misery u feel from doing it to other people who refuse to do such things lol.

be careful or u will end up being one of those ARSEHOLES who get to 80 with no money but think a lifetime of 'working hard' means something... it does not, except that you're a mug. At least do something u enjoy... but whilst u are being 'forced' to do something u hate at least try to be magnanamous enough to refrain from passing judgement on those who refuse to do so. Be a bigger person than that... i know u are bigger than that kat... who cares if someone gets benefits for years and does NOTHING? Why should that bother you? Is your life so bad that actually gets to u? Even when i work I feel no bitterness to laziest man on the planet... i envy him perhaps, in a good natured way... with a smile on my face... even if he spends his time watching daytime telly and doing nothing creative.

At the moment I do 30 hours a week... i don't hate it, far from it... but i HATE not being able to write and record my tunes... and don't give me anything bout still having enough time to do it... there is never enough time to do it... i could have the rest of infinity to do it and it still wouldn't be enough...

ultimately capitalism will never die because ppl like to judge those that do not support themselves, for whatever reason...

and those that work... how many of them have truly valid jobs? waitressing? oh yeah, that's really important lol... prolly bout as important as making music lmao... just service industries that create NO wealth really...

well it's a choice we all have... if u want to be a 'jobby' who hates what they do but enjoys the stress relief of judging others as part of their job description then kudos to u... i just think it's small minded.

once upon a time i worked for a guy doing 18 hours a day which made my wage something like half the minimum wage... i did it for 8 months or so and it nearly cost me my life... even then i didn't get annoyed with the govt scroungers... in the end i stopped doing it... cuz my employer only cared bout his $... he didn't give a fuck that i had to drive 400 miles after doing an 8 hour day of physical labour just so i could sleep for 4 hours and then start my next working day... making him thousands while i got a pittance...

but hey, i spose if i had died that day at least my mother, brother and 'friends' could have been happy in the knowledge that i was working eh?

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 03:09
dude, u sit there winging that i am judging u, meanwhile that is all u r doing.

Do u think it is fair that millions of ppl are working their arses off doing what they dont like, coz u want to sit at home and make music? It is fine if u dont want to work, but it's a little egotistical to take other ppl's money to support your needs and assume they are all happy to hand it over lol.

If you have NEEDS that REQUIRE financial support, then go and work for it. It would be different if you had no needs that needed to be paid for, then fine, dont work! but reality is, you do have needs and u do need money for them, so why the hell do u think u r somehow special from millions of others who have needs? because u make music? some people write poetry and novels, creations which turn out to be the best man has seen, and they still manage to earn enough for their needs.

you'ren ot special or above anyone else, yet u seem to think there is something admirable about choosing not to work and h aving other ppl pay for ur needs? while u live in this society and while u NEED money for your rent and food, then go out and do some casual work to earn it, isntead of assuming ur special enough to have it all paid for u so u can live out your dream. Ppl live out dreams, raise families, work and go on holidays, thats life, you are part of this society, and yeah, it shits me that u think u dotn have to work because u ahve a dream lol. So do i, i have a dream too, so does everyone else, but what use is it having other ppl pay my bills coz i want to be at home living out my dream? dude, ur jsut as judgemental, diff is, ur living in a world where u think its standard to not work YET have NEEDS are the same time, assuming others are happy to work and pay for them, and then having u sit there telling us to do somethign more worthy with out time. When ur rent stops being paid coz everyone is at home living out "possible dreams" and doing nothing else, then u will wonder what to do with urself.

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 03:25
u know just because i hate my job, doesn't mean i hate my life. My job doesn't define me. I am more than a waitress, i always will be more than what people perceive of me. You are more than a musician. Nobody is a single thing, and there is no single word that will define you or me. That is why people can do both what they love and what they hate, and still come out as content or satisified with themselves and who they have become.


You are wrong in assuming that my life is shite, because my job is shite.

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 03:35
as for your family judging you jim... my family judge me as well. It hurts, i know it does. You are not your families judgement and you are not my judgement, you are NOBODYS judgement. You are what you create yourself to be... and life will erode and whither away at you... but that doesn't mean u need to fall or witheraway completely. There are stone structures millions of years old, they change shape through out their life, but they still remain... standing tall...

You are not a failure, you are not usless, and whatever ur family says to u, take it into consideration, but under no means define yourself according to their judgement.


If i was to be what my family have told me i am... then that makes me usless, stupid, and one big fuck up. I am not usless, nor am i stupid, and while their opinions make me cry and make me sad, i refuse to tell myself that i am what they say i am.

Love u heaps, i always have and do and will believe in u and have faith in u, and just because our opinions clash and colide, does't mean that i have ever thought of u as usless or stupid.

Believe in yourself, but don't get angry if everyone around u doens't hold the same belief as u do to yourself.

eclectica
2004-05-17, 03:53
My father's side of the family has a lot of artists, writers, and dabblers. My father's father was a writer with five children who didn't work much. Instead he spent his time writing. My father spends hours daydreaming at his desk saying that he's thinking of a math problem. And here I am doing some important stuff on the forum. The generations have repeated themselves.
:P

What I found about the culture of my father's family was that there was too much tolerance of people fucking around with their lives and saying that they are writers or painters but not holding a steady job. I realize it is good to value the finer things in life. But I don't believe that my paying job is also what defines me as a person. So I don't have a problem with working and then afterwards doing the things I enjoy the most in life.

As far as art is concerned, I think that the quality of it is increased when one doesn't just do art in life, but other things as well. I believe that adversity promotes resourcefulness, so one's art would be more resourceful and rich in content if one was not working on it all day. Often when you get out and get some fresh air, that is when you get your greatest ideas.

Artists are supposed to be poor and starving. The idea that they could make a living off of their art is a corruption in values that you see in today's society in which people like Mariah Carey or Michael Jackson are called artists. Real art is not a paying career. It comes from the soul and from the joy of creating something beautiful.

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 05:12
dude, i dont believe u are wise. there is a difference between being smart, intelligent, semi-intelligent or/and wise.

I dont recall saying directly that you are usless to me, because i am not out to USE you. We dont all follow your example.

Wether or not my words hurt you, i wouldn't have said them unless i felt it necessary. You on the other hand just enjoy elevating yourself to a higher-level by self promotion and a strange type of dillusional cruelty. You can elevate yourself as much as you like, but remember, it's only you who sees u at the elevated level, everyone else will still view u as you really are. Self-elevation of status or importance is only in YOUR head.

dead_man
2004-05-17, 07:24
dude, u sit there winging that i am judging u, meanwhile that is all u r doing.

so maybe that's what the bible means when it says judge not lest ye be judged eh?

Do u think it is fair that millions of ppl are working their arses off doing what they dont like, coz u want to sit at home and make music? It is fine if u dont want to work, but it's a little egotistical to take other ppl's money to support your needs and assume they are all happy to hand it over lol.

lmfao... oh dear... not 'fair'... stfu... that's pathetic... cuz life is so fucking fair isn't it eh?

If you have NEEDS that REQUIRE financial support, then go and work for it. It would be different if you had no needs that needed to be paid for, then fine, dont work! but reality is, you do have needs and u do need money for them, so why the hell do u think u r somehow special from millions of others who have needs? because u make music? some people write poetry and novels, creations which turn out to be the best man has seen, and they still manage to earn enough for their needs.

oh right yeah... cuz i really have a choice about whether or not I require financial support... this way of life has been imposed on me and isn't my choice yet i still HAVE to live this way.

you're not special or above anyone else, yet u seem to think there is something admirable about choosing not to work and h aving other ppl pay for ur needs?

'scuse me? i don't recall saying that, so maybe u would care to take it back eh?


while u live in this society and while u NEED money for your rent and food, then go out and do some casual work to earn it, isntead of assuming ur special enough to have it all paid for u so u can live out your dream.

u mean while i am forced to live in this society? am I allowed to build a house where i please? no.... can i go hunting wherever i please? no... so in fact i am forced to be part of this fascistic society aren't I?


Ppl live out dreams, raise families, work and go on holidays, thats life, you are part of this society, and yeah, it shits me that u think u dotn have to work because u ahve a dream lol. So do i, i have a dream too, so does everyone else, but what use is it having other ppl pay my bills coz i want to be at home living out my dream?

i didn't say i thought i didn't have to work... where did i say that? i merely said that it crushes my soul.

dude, ur jsut as judgemental, diff is, ur living in a world where u think its standard to not work YET have NEEDS are the same time, assuming others are happy to work and pay for them, and then having u sit there telling us to do somethign more worthy with out time. When ur rent stops being paid coz everyone is at home living out "possible dreams" and doing nothing else, then u will wonder what to do with urself.

no i am not living in a world where blah blah... it is rather more complex than that... it's the inferral that an individual cannot be a valuable member of society unless they go out to work that i object to.

dead_man
2004-05-17, 07:41
u know just because i hate my job, doesn't mean i hate my life. My job doesn't define me. I am more than a waitress, i always will be more than what people perceive of me. You are more than a musician. Nobody is a single thing, and there is no single word that will define you or me. That is why people can do both what they love and what they hate, and still come out as content or satisified with themselves and who they have become.


You are wrong in assuming that my life is shite, because my job is shite.

no, u are wrong... a musician is all i am.

I didn't assume ur life was shite... but ur debating skills could do with a wash and brush up darling :p


you still haven't told me exaclty why u feel these people are any of ur business... probably because they are NOT. Just leave it... step up to the next plane of thought, none of it matters as long as u are happy... and if their lifestyle makes u unhappy then there is something seriously wrong =/



as for your family judging you jim... my family judge me as well. It hurts, i know it does. You are not your families judgement and you are not my judgement, you are NOBODYS judgement. You are what you create yourself to be... and life will erode and whither away at you... but that doesn't mean u need to fall or witheraway completely. There are stone structures millions of years old, they change shape through out their life, but they still remain... standing tall...

You are not a failure, you are not usless, and whatever ur family says to u, take it into consideration, but under no means define yourself according to their judgement.


If i was to be what my family have told me i am... then that makes me usless, stupid, and one big fuck up. I am not usless, nor am i stupid, and while their opinions make me cry and make me sad, i refuse to tell myself that i am what they say i am.

Love u heaps, i always have and do and will believe in u and have faith in u, and just because our opinions clash and colide, does't mean that i have ever thought of u as usless or stupid.

Believe in yourself, but don't get angry if everyone around u doens't hold the same belief as u do to yourself



i am 35... certain members of my family can do nothing but judge me in the way that u have... even when i am working... because their idea of comfort means nothing to me... work extra hard for a bigger apartment? a bigger car? no... it means nothing to me... i do not judge their lifestyles... i do not regard what they do as any of my business except to offer what support i can... and most of all accept them for the way they are... why is it so hard for them to do the same regardless of my lifestyle?


In the end all i will do is just not go and see them... and they will wonder why... but when i do go and see them they just spend the whole time making me feel bad for being who i am... so why would i bother?

u know i love u back too... but i find it hard to believe u hold me in any real regard when i can never escape the suspicion that ur judgement of my lifestyle is so black and white.

dead_man
2004-05-17, 07:50
Artists are supposed to be poor and starving. The idea that they could make a living off of their art is a corruption in values that you see in today's society in which people like Mariah Carey or Michael Jackson are called artists. Real art is not a paying career. It comes from the soul and from the joy of creating something beautiful.

amen to that one...

maybe it just means my music is shit tho.

eclectica
2004-05-17, 11:20
maybe it just means my music is shit tho.
Your music is not shit. One of my favorite songs of yours is Mek - Trees (Edit).mp3 (http://www.boomerangutan.org/mp3/Mek - Trees (Edit).mp3). I like that you were able to collaborate on the project in making that song even though you two live thousands of miles from each other. That shows the power of online communities and how they can produce results when people work together on something. I wonder how you made that song; did Shani send you an a cappella version of her singing that you mixed into the song?

It's when you start making lots of money off of your art that you would then have to wonder if you've sold out.

dead_man
2004-05-17, 11:30
Your music is not shit. One of my favorite songs of yours is Mek - Trees (Edit).mp3 (http://www.boomerangutan.org/mp3/Mek - Trees (Edit).mp3). I like that you were able to collaborate on the project in making that song even though you two live thousands of miles from each other. That shows the power of online communities and how they can produce results when people work together on something. I wonder how you made that song; did Shani send you an a cappella version of her singing that you mixed into the song?

It's when you start making lots of money off of your art that you would then have to wonder if you've sold out.

i had the idea for the lyrics and tune but i needed a diva to do diva type things, so i asked her if she would record herself whilst listening to my awful yodling thru headfones... she sent me the mp3, i ripped it and put it in the tune.

i'd sell out in a shot now... i have a lot of tunes that would require some money to affect the required delivery... but i couldn't ever see it as a sell out... there's a certain craft in the songs... blood, sweat and many tears... and i know when the artists i see on TV and hear on the radio are faking it... at least 95% of them are unbelievably lazy and think that being a musician is travelling round doing publicity... it is not... it is about writing a song and performing it in (as far as possible) as interesting way as possible.

I wouldn't go as far as to say talentless... but i would say this... one of my cousins is in the manufactured band Girls Aloud here in the UK... she has an ok voice, but nothing more... she can't write, and she can't play an instrument... yet her job is to travel around like a mobile receptionist for the corporation she works for effectively. She just does it by dancing and 'singing' in front of thousands of people with 4 other 'attractive' young women... nothing to do with music or art really.

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 14:03
no, u are wrong... a musician is all i am.

I didn't assume ur life was shite... but ur debating skills could do with a wash and brush up darling :p


you still haven't told me exaclty why u feel these people are any of ur business... probably because they are NOT. Just leave it... step up to the next plane of thought, none of it matters as long as u are happy... and if their lifestyle makes u unhappy then there is something seriously wrong =/





i am 35... certain members of my family can do nothing but judge me in the way that u have... even when i am working... because their idea of comfort means nothing to me... work extra hard for a bigger apartment? a bigger car? no... it means nothing to me... i do not judge their lifestyles... i do not regard what they do as any of my business except to offer what support i can... and most of all accept them for the way they are... why is it so hard for them to do the same regardless of my lifestyle?


In the end all i will do is just not go and see them... and they will wonder why... but when i do go and see them they just spend the whole time making me feel bad for being who i am... so why would i bother?

u know i love u back too... but i find it hard to believe u hold me in any real regard when i can never escape the suspicion that ur judgement of my lifestyle is so black and white.

dude, when it comes to judgement, you are the most judgemental and vocally opinionated person i know. Yeah, i do have an opinion on your life style, but so what? if that makes me cruely judgemental in your eyes, then perhaps you are not fully satisfied with your own life style either. There is nothing wrong with me having an opinion, just as there is nothing wrong with u having an opinion, and i havn't expressed it in a way that is set to soley put you down, i have tried to illustrate it as accurately to me, as possible.

This is waht i call your jdugement : "be careful or u will end up being one of those ARSEHOLES who get to 80 with no money but think a lifetime of 'working hard' means something... it does not, except that you're a mug."

who are you to say that a life-time of hard work means nothing? a life time of hard work with 'nothing to show at the end' may have raised a well looked after family, paid for kids education, FED a family... you only have yourself to feed, and shit, u dont even pay for that! Maybe at the end of the day, it is you who is the 'mug'?

you said "Even when i work I feel no bitterness to laziest man on the planet... i envy him perhaps, in a good natured way... with a smile on my face... even if he spends his time watching daytime telly and doing nothing creative."

why do u envy him so much, yet call hard working ppl "assholes" and "mugs"? Who are you to make that distinction? What exactly do u envy about a person who chooses to not do anything but sit infront of the tv his whole life while other ppl pay his bills? The whole idea of taxes is, if you are capable of work, as a citizen when you are awarded rights, you are also allocated obligations and duties, and should pay taxes to help those who are truely in need. You are not in need, you just like to have yourself be sustained by other ppl carrying out their obligations which is what leads people in society to technically have rights. It is called being a citizen.

There is nothing wrong with working extra hard to have 'nice' things such as a safe place for your children to sleep or creating a goal of providing for a family etc. MOst people dont live in luxury, most people are middle class, and most ppl work damn hard to get there, infact most ppl work hard jsut to keep above the poverty line.

The fact that you view different opinion as harsh judgement may mean that you are insecure aobut your own choice of life.

You may love making music, and you may love your music with everything within u, but dont bullshit me by saying that ur sould would be crushed if u went and worked say, 25 hours a week to pay a bill. I'm sorry, while i may aknowledge your soul, the government doesn't and my soul isn't officially aknowledged either, if it was to be aknoweldged and i was to be exempt from working and paying taxes, i'd be out in the flower feilds making daisy chains and writing poetry... but as it stands, i go sit in the flower feilds writing poetry during my days off, and u know what, it rocks, my soul aint crushed and i aint dead nor am i a robot or slave to society. I live in both worlds, i'm nto free, but i am not a slave either, i alternate.

You are not forced to live in this society, go get a visa, ship your arse off to Romania and live amongst the gypsies in poverty, hey, but then again, u wont have a computer for ur music, or ur musical equpiment or power to plug it in. See how crushed your soul is then.

dead_man
2004-05-17, 15:15
dude, when it comes to judgement, you are the most judgemental and vocally opinionated person i know. Yeah, i do have an opinion on your life style, but so what? if that makes me cruely judgemental in your eyes, then perhaps you are not fully satisfied with your own life style either. There is nothing wrong with me having an opinion, just as there is nothing wrong with u having an opinion, and i havn't expressed it in a way that is set to soley put you down, i have tried to illustrate it as accurately to me, as possible.

This is waht i call your jdugement : "be careful or u will end up being one of those ARSEHOLES who get to 80 with no money but think a lifetime of 'working hard' means something... it does not, except that you're a mug."

who are you to say that a life-time of hard work means nothing? a life time of hard work with 'nothing to show at the end' may have raised a well looked after family, paid for kids education, FED a family... you only have yourself to feed, and shit, u dont even pay for that! Maybe at the end of the day, it is you who is the 'mug'?

you said "Even when i work I feel no bitterness to laziest man on the planet... i envy him perhaps, in a good natured way... with a smile on my face... even if he spends his time watching daytime telly and doing nothing creative."

why do u envy him so much, yet call hard working ppl "assholes" and "mugs"? Who are you to make that distinction? What exactly do u envy about a person who chooses to not do anything but sit infront of the tv his whole life while other ppl pay his bills? The whole idea of taxes is, if you are capable of work, as a citizen when you are awarded rights, you are also allocated obligations and duties, and should pay taxes to help those who are truely in need. You are not in need, you just like to have yourself be sustained by other ppl carrying out their obligations which is what leads people in society to technically have rights. It is called being a citizen.

There is nothing wrong with working extra hard to have 'nice' things such as a safe place for your children to sleep or creating a goal of providing for a family etc. MOst people dont live in luxury, most people are middle class, and most ppl work damn hard to get there, infact most ppl work hard jsut to keep above the poverty line.

The fact that you view different opinion as harsh judgement may mean that you are insecure aobut your own choice of life.

You may love making music, and you may love your music with everything within u, but dont bullshit me by saying that ur sould would be crushed if u went and worked say, 25 hours a week to pay a bill. I'm sorry, while i may aknowledge your soul, the government doesn't and my soul isn't officially aknowledged either, if it was to be aknoweldged and i was to be exempt from working and paying taxes, i'd be out in the flower feilds making daisy chains and writing poetry... but as it stands, i go sit in the flower feilds writing poetry during my days off, and u know what, it rocks, my soul aint crushed and i aint dead nor am i a robot or slave to society. I live in both worlds, i'm nto free, but i am not a slave either, i alternate.

You are not forced to live in this society, go get a visa, ship your arse off to Romania and live amongst the gypsies in poverty, hey, but then again, u wont have a computer for ur music, or ur musical equpiment or power to plug it in. See how crushed your soul is then.


i did a whole reply to this and then it didn't post cuz i'd been logged out or something.


here is a brief summary of my reply.


1. in a democracy rights are a right, not a priveledge... go back to communist czechoslovakia if u can't understand that most BASIC of premises.

2. why use the word assholes in quotation marks? i never said that.

3. a lifetime of hard work means nothing in itself... bringing up a family does mean something, but i never said it didn't... go back to uni and excercise ur brain... u need it. Indeed what use is that lifetime of hard work when ur kid says "gee thanks for all the nice stuff dad, but i DON'T KNOW WHO U ARE"

4. the different opinion u mention was a judgement, made by u, about me... as such i am entitled to judge u back... i didn't make the first move, u did.

5. As far as i am concerned noel gallagher and the darkness pay their taxes for me to live, not some waitress who 'dabbles in water colours or creative writing.'

6. You have no understanding of how much hard work it takes to make true art... you think just because u manage whatever u do in ur life that it should be the same for all... why should it? because u say so? that's pretty egocentric and ignorant IMO.

7. Why would i go and live in romania when i am a briton living in britain? why don't u go back to slovakia or something?

8. There is nothing wrong with working hard for nice things... and there is nothing wrong with living in poverty in order to pursue a higher goal... when have i ever complained on this, or any other forum about my standard of living?

The sad fact of the matter is that you feel it is your RIGHT to judge others by your standards... fair enough... i think you will always be looking at the next person and maiking urself feel unhappy because of what they have and what u do not. You choose to work long hours... good for you... if u don't like it just stop, rather than judging other people by ur standards

Dollar_Girl
2004-05-17, 15:34
nowhere did i say your opinion or criticism was unwanted, and who cares who made the 'first move'? we aren't playing chess, it's a debate.

Yes, good on u for calling me stupid because u lack ability to handle criticism. I didnt call u lazy or usless to society, so why resort to insults?

why is it that u think if someone is a working parent, then that makes them a bad parent? or a stranger to their children? Once can raise an intimate family and still put a healthy meal on teh table for them. You assume that a parent only works to buy 'nice stuff' for their kids? Many parents work full time and cant' even afford to hire their school text books every year. affording Education for a child can hardly be called a luxurious life.

As a citizen you have obligations and not just rights. You also have your duties as a citizen. Rights and duties are the most basic concepts of classic and modern day citizenship. I'm sorry if you feel you can have a free life-style and rights, without having to fullfil any duties as a part of society.

Perhaps any different opinion to you is a 'judgement' upon you, and maybe it is, but if you are content with your choice of life-style, then so what? Should i have no opinion because you take offence for it being judgemental? People make judgements about situations daily, society is based on evaluation, analysis, judgement and choices.

You choose to live in "poverty", and tahts fine, but u can choose to live in poverty and pay for your poverty, like many others. Why are you exempt? because working 25 hours a week would "crush your soul"?

I'm not unhappy for what i have or dont have, i'm quite satisifed with what i have and dont have, why wouldn't i be? Did u just assume i was unhappy because i dared have an opinion about ppl who dont work for years, just 'coz'?

Should i not have an opinion, because someone like u might call it an unjust judgement? I didn't know that "i dotn want to" classifies as a valid reason to not work for years.

dead_man
2004-05-17, 17:23
if that ever happens again..try hitting the back button in your browser..it happens to me sometimes as well and internet explorer saves the text..or still better yet..first make your reply in notepad then copy paste it here to keep from losing really good posts.

the 'back' button u say?


thanks Einstein... that's like telling a soccer player he has to kick the ball =|

dead_man
2004-05-17, 17:24
nowhere did i say your opinion or criticism was unwanted, and who cares who made the 'first move'? we aren't playing chess, it's a debate.

Yes, good on u for calling me stupid because u lack ability to handle criticism. I didnt call u lazy or usless to society, so why resort to insults?

why is it that u think if someone is a working parent, then that makes them a bad parent? or a stranger to their children? Once can raise an intimate family and still put a healthy meal on teh table for them. You assume that a parent only works to buy 'nice stuff' for their kids? Many parents work full time and cant' even afford to hire their school text books every year. affording Education for a child can hardly be called a luxurious life.

As a citizen you have obligations and not just rights. You also have your duties as a citizen. Rights and duties are the most basic concepts of classic and modern day citizenship. I'm sorry if you feel you can have a free life-style and rights, without having to fullfil any duties as a part of society.

Perhaps any different opinion to you is a 'judgement' upon you, and maybe it is, but if you are content with your choice of life-style, then so what? Should i have no opinion because you take offence for it being judgemental? People make judgements about situations daily, society is based on evaluation, analysis, judgement and choices.

You choose to live in "poverty", and tahts fine, but u can choose to live in poverty and pay for your poverty, like many others. Why are you exempt? because working 25 hours a week would "crush your soul"?

I'm not unhappy for what i have or dont have, i'm quite satisifed with what i have and dont have, why wouldn't i be? Did u just assume i was unhappy because i dared have an opinion about ppl who dont work for years, just 'coz'?

Should i not have an opinion, because someone like u might call it an unjust judgement? I didn't know that "i dotn want to" classifies as a valid reason to not work for years.

yes, stupid... stupid, stupid,

STUPID!



u still like me don't u?

i rest my already massively endowed case =]

dead_man
2004-05-17, 21:03
if she still loves you after all of that maybe I need to start doing that too...hungh? is that how it works? Treat em like shit and they love you all the more for it?

sure seems to work that way. Or better yet tell them how horrible they are and make the case for how no one else would want them except for you. :rolleyes:

dude...
u know nothing... maybe u need to get a life rather than worrying about any other plan.

dead_man
2004-05-17, 21:17
it sounds to me like you're just making excuses for yourself in trying to justify y our lifestyle.


well i'll be sure to let u know when i give a shit what you think mate.

nicobie
2004-05-18, 01:10
well i'll be sure to let u know when i give a shit what you think mate.



tTimmie is living large.

dead_man
2004-05-18, 07:32
I am torn over this disability thing. I don't feel disabled..but so many are drawing benefits for so much less than the things that seem to be troubling me: a)weight and b)anxiety..the depression seems gone now thanks to the medicines i'm taking..and even the anxiety isn't that bad.

so should I draw just because I can or not..what do you guys think???

and mek how long have you been drawing benefits and what did you say was wrong with you? how did you claim them..what exactly is it you're getting and did you have to claim a disability to get those benefits and if so what did you claim or say or put down as your disability?

we'd all like to know.


i don't claim disability, i never have.

i never went to the doc for happy pills even when i had been suffering from depression for a decade.

i tell the benefits ppl i have no job... but i could have easily got sickness benefit at certain points in my life... and got double what i was getting... but u see I wasn't sick... i was just unhappy.

anyway, it really is none of ur business... it isn't as if u have an opinion of ur own... u may as well run a poll on this board for every decision u have to take in ur life... u know... do a poll asking what colour slacks ur gonna wear today, or should u have cornflakes or golden grahams for brekky...

do whatever u want, just leave me alone please.

Criminal_Sniper
2004-05-18, 13:33
dead man u are a dick at time like anyone just like me and Tim
im not sure about nicobie hehehe more
anyway
ur right u must have a bit of a brain democracy is about rights
but the problem is as most u know is that our right ARE being supressed and our priveledges are out of our reaches
damn i hate capitalism
im not sure if u have seen some of the things i have seen but we are getting a real bad deal
i could keep going on that subject but i wont
ive got a little example to think about though
russia before the breakup - equality ratingfrom 0 to 1 (Russian offical statistics)
(0 is equal 1 is unequal)
it was 0.26 in 91
it was 0.41 in 94
stabilized at 0.40

and most of the advances in capitalist democrazies have been socialistic ideals
though i can imagine atempting communist tschekoslowakei (?) wasnt the worlds best like most of the lot

and Tim not completely controlling urself and knowing urself completely and understanding things can bring motivation and extreme confidence which cant stop u
im a heavy smoker and i still run sing and swim n do weights up at the gym
now if i did i may die happy thats my decision
i tried going for disability once too bad having only one or two hours of sleep a day and being told thats my fault? at that time a bit of depression n shit
since i was really young ive only slept a few hours at a time and woken up if at all
i think this world is too greedy
the problem with most shit
competition is good but the way its going its a bit one sided
one day.........

eclectica
2004-05-21, 09:51
He changed my medicine to where I'm now taking only the Lexapro 10mg tablets once a day. I'm supposed to let him know how they go.
Tell him to drop by the forum to check up on you and see that we are providing a good environment for your mental health and stability.
:eeek:

The subtitle of the forum could be like that of ogrish.com:
Can you handle life?

eclectica
2004-05-21, 11:14
just watch out for MY mental and emotional manipulation and WE should be fine
That's something you need to watch because otherwise you dishonor yourself and your reputation, as well as your standing in the community. If you lose your credibility it is you who gets fucked in the end.

dead_man
2004-05-22, 00:33
oh no...*warning..warning* DANGER, will robinson..danger!
lmao I hear 'robbie the robot' saying that anytime I hear something about COMMUNITY and a messageboard.

No one said honesty was a requirement for posting to a chatboard...if i invent new characters or fabricate myself (lie) maybe dollar will like it..maybe not. ;)

Dollar I want to address something here. I mislabelled something I posted of yours as being from a 'pm' it was actually from an email you sent me...I should have said it was from 'private correspondence' rather than a 'pm' that was erroneous.

The things I posted were things are thought were SO BEAUTIFUL that they needed to be shared..those things are in the Dalai Wisdom thread..is there anything there that you are upset with me for posting?

The thoughts you expressed in that first email you sent me back in march of last year when you were bored were just so magnificient I couldn't fully handle them in being appreciative enough for them. I wanted others to see how beautiful you are inwardly as well as outwardly.

We've said and done a lot of things 'to each other' hurtful words I mean..we ended up leaving it where I have some 'secret things' i can use against you and because of these secret things..what are they?

They are the SAME secret things you have on Mekajinn. You have that picture of his penis he sent you. You have emails he's written you. Don't tell me you didn't save those things. I'm pretty sure you did. Those are the things he was referencing that you could 'use against him' You could post his private personal correspondence to you on the forum to publicly humiliate him or post his dick just for fun.

You mentioned 'burning those things to disk' so surely you must have kept that bit of communication. I kept 'your bit of communication to' so why is what I did any different that you?

It isn't..is it?
so why make a fuss?

i thought u said u were a 'man' of honour or something... i thought u said u would leave me alone... all ur doing is displacing ur desire to give me a good bum rogering onto poor dollar... d00d I'm sorry... i don't fuck 'men'... give it up... ur mind ain't big enough to even imagine my penis.

eclectica
2004-06-29, 02:57
http://www.neartexpress.com/art/images/large/icB325.jpg

nicobie
2004-06-30, 01:13
http://www.neartexpress.com/art/images/large/icB325.jpg


In my opinion ...

tttimmy should just kill himself.

Dollar_Girl
2004-06-30, 03:55
third one to the right on the first row... i imagine that is what u look like eclectica, after an overdose of caffine pills.


the very last one, bottom row is what i imagine tim to look like... kinda dopey.

Second one, second row... is Jcmd62, looking a bit psychotic there - i dont know, and i don't ask.

Nic, i think u r the first one on the last row... bored... coz we dont use smilies at this forum, and hence, u have no opportunity to protest heshe.

nicobie
2004-07-01, 00:55
Nic, i think u r the first one on the last row... bored... coz we dont use smilies at this forum, and hence, u have no opportunity to protest heshe.

heshe

which one do u feel like today?

Dollar_Girl
2004-07-01, 01:17
second last row, third to the right

nicobie
2004-07-01, 01:30
second last row, third to the right


works for me......

L o L's sweetie

:)